A Story of the Random
by Rekaina
Summary: This story is only a story that I thought of off the top of my head I and my friend think it's funny. To find out about the characters check my profile it's all there. RR plz! BYE
1. The Weirdness

A Story of The Random 

_By: Rekaina-sama (_Yes sama, sama)

Well the story starts out with…an "m and m"… sitting on a table… and 2 girls intently staring at it… waiting for to turn into a magical monkey… that will grant them 3 wishes! Well normally they wouldn't be doing this but their 2 other friends Kiyota and Fu-Ebi (and no Fu does not stand for the swear word) had told them this would happen if they watched it long enough. For you see they are both very gullible…yes very much so…indeed…so very sad. While this was going on Kiyoto and Fu-Ebi (Fu-Ebi means "Wind-Flower" in Japanese) had somehow turned into rocks. No, not the rock you find on the ground but…wait for it…keep waiting…a little…bit…more…and it is! … Rock Lee!**OH THE HORROR! THE AGONY IT BURNS! THE MENTAL IMAGE!** Cough anyways…uh…where was I… where am I? Short-term memory loss…OH YA! Well as you can imagine Fu-Ebi was running around screaming her brain out…not that there is a lot to scream out (A/N: small brain). Kiyota on the other hand was just standing there thinking out loud.

"Hmmm…let me see…uh…first eyebrow wax…next…dyeing hair and getting hair extensions…new clothes…and…finally…a sex change" She began to walk off in a random direction.

"What are you doing and where are you going?" Questioned Fu (I call her that for a nickname cause I know she hates it)

"To be myself again with the help of modern technology!" She shouted punching the air above her…him…it.

"…GOOD IDEA!" Fu, the other it, (all of the other reindeer use to laugh and call him…sorry I had moment) yelled enthusiastically after thinking it over for 5 minutes.

So they walked off in a random direction hoping to find what they were looking for. Fu began to skip singing the "Wizard of Oz" song merrily while Kiyoto got weirded out by her friend and an odd monkey wearing a tutu and holding a wand that was following them. Eventually Kiyoto got so pissed of she threw a fax machine at it (NO THE FAX MACHINE IS MY FRIEND! Anyways.) So they continue on there way and then…

"HEY LOOK!" Fu yelled, "A PINEAPPLE!"

At this they both break out into song:

WHO LIVES IN A PINAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

SPONGEBOBSQUAREPANTS! …(you should know how it goes…)

This went on for a while then they reached…. THE COSMETICS STORE! They entered the shop grinning like Lee normally does. (Coughretardcough ) They began to wander and confuse people with the point that they look the same down to every last detail possible. Luckily for the 2 as soon as their hands touched some sort of girly product they magically (someone put a jutsu on them…oooooo who?) Turned back to themselves clothes and all! Then they screamed in unison:

"YYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Together they punched the air in victory then shouted, "FLAWLESS VICTORY!"

Then they both did little happy dances while people in the shop stared at them with shock, confusion or fright. Suddenly Kiyoto stopped her little jig of happiness and thought to herself.

'Why the hell did we turn into Lee anyways…maybe we were hit by a magical piece of monkey feeces? I dunno.'

As soon as she stored this thought away in the dark place where stored thoughts go (all that's in there is a desk with some gum stuck to the bottom of it and gray walls) a mysterious ninja jumped down from an electricity pole, ran inside and went up to the desk and asked

"Can I use your bathroom I've been up there all day stealing free cable"

"Oh sure, I myself did that before, I failed, got caught by the cops but good luck!" Said the overly cheerful cashier.

So the mysterious ninja went to the bathroom and was in there for 20 minutes. (Maybe he/she has a shy bladder or he's taking a crap shrugs ) Both girls stare at the ninja in confusion.

"How can you steal free cable?" Fu said

"I don't really know the answer to that one…well I do but it will take to long to explain cause this chapters almost over and it will take up to much space" Kiyoto said

"Well what you just said took up a lot of space," Fu pointed out

"Damn…" Kiyoto said crossing her arm disappointed in herself.

Then the ninja came out of the very dirty public bathroom shivering with fright from how dirty it was.

"Cockroaches…ew…shudders " The ninja said very disgusted.

"HEY LOOK A NINJA…figurine!" Fu shouted shocking the ninja at the mention of "ninja".

"HEY LOOK! A kunai…ATTACHED TO A ACTUAL NINJA!" Kiyoto shouted to her friend

"HOLY SHIT!" the ninja screamed trying to run out the door but was stopped by a large crowd people around him/her (do not know yet)

"GET HIM OR HER!" Fu screamed running straight at the ninja only to run in to a shelf full of lipstick, "SHIT! This is not my color…"

"Get up and catch him…her…THE NINJA!" Kiyoto yelled frustrated

At this the girls ran at the ninja trying to catch em (note I said "em" meaning it is either a guy or girl, simple really-') Well they caught up with the ninja who was caught between some blush and a bunch of frilly pink make-up kits (hmm nice place to die beside some girly products.

"Ah man…" said the ninja in a male voice

"We have you now genin!" Kyoto said triumphantly

"How do you know he's a genin?" Fu asked

"It's simple really, if he was a jounin or chunnin the probability of him getting away would have been higher and he would have gotten away from two _girls_ that aren't even ninja. See simple!" Kyoto said confusing and pissing off Fu

"Your getting technical again…and your taking up chapter space." Fu commented on her long explanation

"Oh…damn…again" Kiyoto said grabbing the ninjas shoulder so he couldn't slip away from them.

"Lets see who it is!" Fu said cheerfully

"Fine, but we might not know who it is for the probability…" Fu covering her mouth with her hand cut her off.

"Don't…do…it…again…you fuck…head…"

"Mmh" said Kiyoto trying to say fine

So they took off the hood revealing it was…(drum roll!)…CLIFFHANGER-NO JUTSU!

(Readers: damn you cliffhanger, damn you!

Fu: You like doing that to people?

Rekaina: …yes a lot actually. Oh yes and I don't own any characters from Naruto…or the plot…or anything to do with Naruto actually…Bye…now I made myself sad…sniff )


	2. Hi Im Sakura, Im scared of poo monkeys

A Story of The Random By: Rekaina-sama (Oh yeah and, funny thing, Fu-ebi means: Wind shrimp, she needs to get her translations right now doesn't she)

* * *

We left our hero's, if you can call them that, off when they were about to show who the mysterious person-who-stole-free-cable-then-had-to-take-a-giant-shit was, anyways…

…They skipped along the lane merrily until… (Oops, wrong story… --')

So they took off the hood revealing it was… (Drum roll!)…you know I just realized that I haven't explained the confusing plot of this story and how it at all fits into the Naruto story line, two words "extra" and "episode", anyways…A SCARECROW (With a note stuck to the face) The note read:

"hA TrICked U"

"…All that for a stinkin' scarecrow in a hood, I am soooooooooo pissed off. Do you think it could be Kakashi because, his name means scarecrow, and in on episode 101 he used a scarecrow to trick Sakura into thinking he was standing in front of the KIA memorial when it was her turn spying on him when her, Naruto and Sasuke where trying to find out what Kakashi looked like without the mask on but they failed in the end…sorta because all that was there was another mask?" Kiyoto asked, then immediately fell on the floor unconscious because of lack of air

"…maybe" Fu said to no one since the person who had asked the question was now unable to hear or talk anymore, at the moment at least

After about 7 seconds Kiyoto awoke and screamed: "NO, evil scarecrow that won't **shut up**"

"…wait, you said it had to be a genin because the ninja would have been able to escape from two girls who aren't even ninja?" Fu said acting like her friend hadn't passed out

Kiyoto stared at Fu blankly "I just passed out…and you're acting like it is a normal occurrence…I hate you so much" Kiyoto said, her voice rising with anger every word

"You went unconscious?" Fu said stupidly Kiyoto whacked her forehead and mumbled a "Never mind"

"Could you answer my question then?" Fu said in a giddy way

"Okay…well, the ninja did technically get away since he used a replacement jutsu to escape and we didn't even notice until he got away" Kiyoto drawled in a very annoyed tone

"He", what do you mean "he"?" Fu asked tilting her head and emitting a hollow headed personality to all who had witnessed the event

"The voice was obviously male you dipstick…" Kiyoto said getting to a point where she had to smack her friend, "Wait…where is the ninja anyway?"

"… o.O' right…very original, dipstick" Fu said," and, I don't know"

"Come on!" Kiyoto yelled running out the store door and setting off the alarm at the same time, ooh multitasking

"Excuse me miss come back here" the overly cheerful but now crazy angry cashier said grabbing her by her collar and back into the store, "I believe you have taken something from our store you dirty little thief!"

"You jerk! I stole nothing" Kiyoto said angrily

"Sure, you dirty Asian!" The cashier said cruelly

Kiyoto glared at him and forgot any thought about catching the ninja and replaced it with one thought…KILL THE CASHIER WHO MOCKED HIS OWN ANCESTRY (he was Asian too, weird ass teenager)

It started simply enough, a swift kick in the place that hurt a man the most…his stomach! Where else does it hurt that much…? Oh…right…THE FACE! (Fu: -whispers in friend's ear- Kiyoto: Oh…right, there…) -Insert pointless violence-

* * *

(while you're waiting I must put in an interruption in the story

I have a friend name Bob

Bob likes to poke things

Bob has a knife in his hand

…oh wait a minute there Bob!

Oh shit I am so…

He poked me.

Now back to your regular programming, er, story)

* * *

The two girls walked out with "free" items in hand leaving the steaming pile of what was left of the cashier.

"So where is the ninja?" Fu asked looking around

"Not here, anymore at least" Kiyoto shrugged while looking through her bag of stuff

"Do you think it was alright to take all of this stuff?"

"Do you think I care?" Kiyoto said in a matter of fact way

"No…but I do" Fu said pouting

"Whatever lets just look for the ninja…" Kiyoto said walking away with a kunai in hand (that was what she was looking for in her bag)

Suddenly a rather exhausted looking Sakura jumped out of a bush and practically died in front of them, though she did not die she simply went unconscious and was having trouble making her heart and lungs work properly, in other words, she is dying not dead…wait…

"Think she's dead?" Fu said scared

"I dunno, poke her with a stick and find out" Kiyoto said holding out a stick

"You are such a bitch!"

"Thank you, I know!" Kiyoto said happily

"Grr" Fu said warningly, "I am going to kill you!" From her clueless angelic appearance she changed to a rather demonic (but still stupid looking) appearance

"…oh shit…" Kiyoto said calmly, but that didn't mean she didn't feel like shitting herself from fear, she just chose not to show it, much like Shino.

"**I will kill you insolent peon and wipe you off the face of the earth like a**…_like a wipe-able icky thing_!" She said in a deep voice which wasn't to affective since she needs to learn how to speak properly or, at least, read a dictionary

"Nice comeback…somehow, I'm not scared…as much" Kiyoto said hiding behind a tree

"**I will destroy you, weak human**!" She said menacingly

"That one was scary but you are a human to…" Kiyoto pointed out

"**SHUT UP**! _You're ruining my persona of evil_…"

"Persona"? So you're faking it?" Kiyoto said stepping out from behind the tree

"…perhaps?" Fu said slowly shrinking back to normal size and losing her demonic looks

"…so…is she dead now! Kiyoto said hopefully

"Damn it! I was trying to save her life and you distracted me! I knew your stupid attitude would kill someone someday!"

"The longer you stand there bad mouthing me the less chance she has of surviving you know…" Kiyoto said pulling out a violin from practically nowhere

"…God damn it!" Fu said turning to Sakura and started to think of what to do

As Fu thought Kiyoto played a sad tune to go along with the moment. Suddenly the same monkey in a tutu came along, (Ha, you actually thought it died from a simple fax machine! Monkeys are all powerful and can never die! Okay, that was a lie but a monkey in a tutu can never die!) and threw a piece of shit right beside Sakura's head, and one on her head.

Sakura awoke immediately after smelling the stench from the monkey feces and she got up ran in a circle screaming and then ran in to a tree and went unconscious than awoke once more from the smell again and repeated over and over again, she probably has a concussion now, huh?

"… well then, this is…weird?" Kiyoto said eyes following the frantic Sakura

"We should really help her!" Fu said desperately trying to stop Sakura

"Why? This is some real good entertainment!" Kiyoto said immediately getting hit in the head, "Now that was a little mean now, wasn't it?"

"This coming from you, the overly violent one?" Fu said stopping and crossing her arms

"…uh…yes" Kiyoto said as if talking to an idiot…oh wait she is (Fu: I am not stupid! Ask anyone! Me: suuuuuure Fu: Shut up! Me: About what? Fu: About saying I'm stupid Me: about what? Fu: I give up its like talking to a wall! Me: Now you know how I feel when I talk to you Fu: Arg! Shut up!)

"Come on just help me already!" Fu said rather annoyed

"Okay…" Kiyoto stuck out her arm in front of Sakura as she ran and grabbed her so she would stop running around

"AHHHHH! The smell, THE SMELL!" Sakura said shaking her head around wildly

"…ahem…SHUT UP!" Fu screamed in Sakura's ear, possibly casing ear problems at an early age

"That's better, now, Sakura, could you tell me if you know someone who is trying to steal free cable?" Kiyoto said in Sakura's now only good ear

"How can you steal free cable…? AH IT STILL STINKS!" Sakura said completely disgusted

"…Fu, can you get me a bucket of water to rinse the feces off, if I have to hold my breath any longer I will suffocate" Kiyoto said, face turning blue

"Okay" Fu said a little confused She ran off into the store and had a bucket that also appeared out of practically nowhere and doused Sakura's head

"Thank you…I guess" Said Kiyoto who was also wet from the water

"NO problem!" Fu said throwing the bucket in the air

"I was being…" Kiyoto started to say but was hit in the head by the bucket, "…**ow**, sarcastic…"

"Heheh, sorry" Fu said happily

Kiyoto glared but was then attacked by the tutu monkey

"AHHHH! GET IT OFF DAMN IT, _GET IT OFF_!" She said dropping Sakura and tried to grab the monkey off her head

"HAH!" Fu said loudly The monkey stopped scampering and dodging on Kiyoto's head and stared at the person who had made the loud noise

"Uh oh…" Fu said backing away slowly

The monkey attacked her and succeeded in attaching itself to her head.

"**HOLY NINJA KITTIES IT'S THE APOCALYPSE, HELP**!" Fu said waving her arms around

"Uh…" Sakura stood confused

"I'll help!" Said a messy haired Kiyoto She then grabbed a large frying pan and raised it to hit the monkey, ( The frying pan also came out of nowhere, like the fax machine in the first chapter, the violin and the bucket) as she swung down the monkey flipped off her head matrix style, landed in a tree and scampered off.

So, as it would seem obvious, the frying pan hit the same ninja who took a shit in the store because he chose a bad time to jump!

"Huh, that was lucky…" Kiyoto said slowly

"Moogle shmoo?" Fu said dazed

"…right…" Sakura said walking toward them,"So, who are you guys?"

"I'm Kiyoto and she is Fu-ebi"

"Okay that's not what I had in mind though…" Sakura said raising an eyebrow

"I know" Kiyoto said sitting down beside the unconscious ninja, "First I want to see who this is"

Kiyoto lifted the hood to reveal that it actually was…**next chapter**!

(Just kidding, its Itachi! End chapter)


End file.
